Daddy-issues? Yes Papa; Got Some Love? No Papa

July 21, 2016

 

I want to love someone; I want to be loved!! In both scenarios, in addition to all the fluff we call romance, we can trace our feelings back to some shade of daddy issues; or mommy issues; or in some very unfortunate cases both.

 

I obviously have nothing against romance. I am too much of a romantic myself. My favorite date movie is SAW IV , and my preferred valentine gift -- to give -- is a playstation.

 

Isn't that cute? See, I told you I was romantic!

 

Now that we have addressed Romance let's spend some time on Daddy issues, but before we go any further, let's define what daddy-issue -- from a Dude's PoV -- means. Shall we?

 

Daddy-issue: The repressed feelings towards your biological or otherwise dad, that is made up of everything that he did to upset you. for Mr. sensitive it could be missing your birthday; for Mr. Faulad, it's caning the shit out of you when you flunked in the board exams.

 

Now, the good news is that Love indeed has the magic pill to cure! How and when it happens?

Well, think of love in three-act structure: Pre-consummate, At-consummate, Post-consummate. First act is really more of a preventive measure but when you drift in the second and third act, the cure must be applied as soon as the symptoms appear: Let's break it down:

 

First Act: Pre-consummate

Symptoms: If your man is quiet, think Ajay Devgan in, ahm, most of his flicks really; or unpredictable like Salman Khan -- DO NOT go for this guy. This guy has serious problems; and if you find someone peppy like Shah Rukh Khan waiting in the queue, I'd nominate him!

 

Second Act: At consummate

Symptoms: All daddy-issues symptoms mysteriously disappear in this act. I wonder why?

 

Third Act: Post-consummate

Symptoms: Watch out for a desire to drink, smoke, cry in no particular order or combination. Please note, that the symptoms may appear as early as the toll gate to enter this act. Be wary, be cautious and follow the cure.

 

Cure:

Now the gal is thinking, what the frack should I do with him? Well, the idea here is to distract him. Do whatever it takes. Tell him "Come here baby...let it all go." and hug him really tight, leaving him just enough wiggle room. Adjust wiggle room accordingly as situation escalates. 

 

When none of that works, you could device a fake story of your own daddy-issues. Relax, it ain't really lying, you are trying to help a dude! It's ALL good! 

 

A word of caution:  Do or say whatever you want but do not let him come in that occiput posterior; because, that would be the end of it. Even if all else fails, you can still cure it. Just remember what we learned in second act? Yup, it would be time for you to take him back to the second act!

 

So now that we have learned how to deal with Daddy issues; in the next post we will learn how to deal with Mommy issues from a girl's PoV. Now, I didn't feel any threat of retribution while writing this post as I know that the dudes out there are forgiving, but I am not too sure for the lovely gals out there, but, I shall try. Wait for my next post!

 

 

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